Isn’t ‘thwarted’ a lovely Englishy word! It’s defined (in my favourite book – the dictionary) as… ‘To frustrate or foil…to prevent…to oppose successfully’.
Feeling frustrated at being prevented from doing what I want to get on with is a major stressor to me. I was ‘opposed’ by internet hackers this week which prevented me (for a few days) from posting my last blog entries – which explored some of the character traits of Margaret Thatcher and which I was keen to have posted prior to her funeral. As it was, I just managed to post the blogs that evening, after some expert guidance on how to get around the log-in blockage!
This left me angry at the imposed delay, but also curious about what exactly the hackers hoped and intended to gain from their hard work (assuming it is hard to hack into WordPress and thwart would-be bloggers!)
It seemed to me that they were like naughty children who used whatever weapons they had at their disposal to attack a vast, yet unknown enemy – but without a clear purpose. I assume this to be so, as I cannot think of a valid reason for them (or maybe just an individual) to want to launch such an attack. Maybe it helped then to feel clever, powerful and potent…in which case that throws up for me several psychotherapeutic questions about their impaired character and unmet needs. They are anonymous and therefore not open to being contacted about their motives, or their awareness of any therapeutic help they may need.
Last week I had a negative review for my book ‘The Ripple Effect’ Process posted by someone anonymously on Amazon. This hasn’t thwarted me in any way but it did surprise me – although as they say …’there’s always one’ and ‘you can’t please everyone’. That review was in stark contrast to the other 5* reviews the book has received (which I am immensely grateful for) and so again I became curious about the ‘perpetrator’. I found that he/she had posted an even worse review of someone else’s book – on the same site – which was unnecessarily rude and cruel – and I wondered what they got out of it. What had they gained by sending out such negativity? What public purpose could it serve? The internet allows this in a way that wasn’t possible in the past. In ‘the good old days’ (perhaps the subject of another blog?) if you sent a poison pen letter it did at least have a postmark on it – which did geographically narrow down its origin.
So, from my feeling thwarted, angry, curious, then sympathetic for the troubled souls who need to offload their negativity by criticising, hacking, denigrating and insulting others, (the extreme being internal trolls); I have come full circle to just getting on with things and posting this blog – fingers crossed!
I wonder how many miserable people only find on outlet for their pain anonymously…maybe the telephone or on-line counselling available nowadays would appeal to their need to hide in the shadows whilst their childlike behaviour disrupts, annoys and insults others.
TREP wouldn’t be suitable for such people – they would need personal therapy first, otherwise they would – albeit subconsciously – ruin the workshop or group experience for other members as they spread their negative ripple-effect – which the wise and alert amongst us would do well to avoid.
Damaged childhoods lead to damaged brains and negative ripples in society.
I sincerely hope that attendance at the modules of ‘The Ripple Effect’ Process will eventually lead to more informed and compassionate parenting – and in an ideal world, that such negative ripples would then be lovingly smoothed out.
By Maxine Harley www.maxineharley.com www.the-ripple-effect.co.uk www.qpp.uk.com
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