Who are you? A Whole-Brain And Holistic Approach to Understanding Yourself

Have you ever wondered what makes people ‘tick’ and why they behave as they do?

I’ve been curious about this myself for many years now; and it was the confusing or cruel and hurtful behaviours of others towards me that got me interested in psychology, child development, counselling and psychotherapy about 25 years ago.

We all turned up on ‘day one of life’ as pure and innocent beings [Read more…]

Relationship Repair – The ‘Whole-Brain And Holistic’ Approach

We’ve tried Relate – but all they did was watch us argue then repeat what we’d said back to us – which got us nowhere, and was a waste of time and money!

 

Sadly I’ve heard this, and similar, comments too often. The existing narrowly-focused methods of ‘couples counselling’ can fail to appreciate the complexity of a relationship, and that what works for one couple will leave another couple feeling frustrated and impotent. [Read more…]

Weight Control – The ‘Whole-Brain and Holistic’ Approach

Advertisements for weight less programmes are everywhere aren’t they?

It’s a big business – usually offering a ‘quick fix’ to the years of heartache caused by excess weight, and ill-health.

The implicit message in these is ‘loose weight using our method or product(s) and you will be seen as a better person.’

It’s little wonder that so many people regain their lost weight and revert to their former state – including celebrities who have been endorsing the products/scheme/method – because they haven’t unearthed the real reasons underlying their problem!

What really causes obesity? Why is the weight so difficult to shift? [Read more…]

Self-esteem, Confidence and Assertiveness – The ‘Whole-Brain and Holistic’ approach

I feel rubbish about myself, what’s the point even trying to get a job or a girlfriend?

Whenever I’m around two or more people I just ‘change’ somehow, and become all dithery and nervous. I’m really self-conscious and I keep imaging they don’t like me and think I don’t deserve to be there. I can’t talk properly and every time I open my mouth and try to say something it comes out all wrong, and I want the ground to open up and swallow me. I feel so stupid and ashamed.”

It’s as if everyone else has a sat-nav to get them through life, and I can’t even read the street sign-posts as I stumble around and so I just keep getting lost. I’m such an idiot and everyone can see that.”

Such feelings of ‘low self-esteem’ or weak self-concept, or inadequate social skills and social anxiety are common, people just [Read more…]

The ‘Whole-Brain And Holistic’ Approach to Balancing Your Moods

“As soon as I wake up early in the morning I feel a whoosh of anxiety flood my body – it’s like a central heating boiler firing up, and I can’t shift it – it then stays with me all day, but just not as intensely.”

I feel squashed under the heavy weight of an invisible opponent. It paralyses me. I can’t think or plan. I can hardly move my body. Everything feels like too much effort and just not worth it anyway.”

It takes very little to shift me from coping with life to flipping out. I don’t seem to see it coming, or have any control over it when it takes over me – and my anger and rage then only makes things much worse for me.”

 

If you have a problem [Read more…]

Therapeutic Redundancy

 My aim as a therapist is to become redundant as soon as possible, and to have been a catalyst for someone becoming clearer about the reasons for their difficulties, the effects these have had upon their life, and most importantly, what they can do to change them.

Some therapeutic approaches assume many months or years of attendance to explore the furthest corners of someone’s psyche – but who (other than a trainee therapist of such an approach) has the time, inclination or money for such extended and extensive therapy?

I once met a therapist at a conference who [Read more…]

The Filling In The Sandwich – Whole-Brain And Holistic Reflections Upon Therapy.

Now we have something to bite into… what isn’t working in the client’s life and what I/we can do about it, and how?

After our first meeting, and my ‘assessment’ I’ll have made a few notes to myself on aspects that need exploring and the domino effect this will then have for my client.

I’ve found it most useful at the beginning of a session to first  [Read more…]

Our First Session – ‘whole-brain and holistic’ reflections

As we enter my workroom I notice their reaction to it, and I wonder if it fits their expectations – based upon the impressions they’ve had of me so far from my website, photo, name, address, voice, my management of their enquiry, and the ease of access to this room – my room that they have been invited into and where they may share some of their most vulnerable emotions and darkest thoughts. They will inevitably have been constructing a ‘me’ as much as I have been constructing a ‘them’ – although perhaps only subconsciously. [Read more…]

First sight and impressions – ‘Whole-brain and holistic’ reflections

It’s nearly time for our first face-to-face meeting, and I feel both curious and excited.

The room I offer for us to meet and work in is very important – they will be making impressions and judgements of me and the standard of my work from here. I want to avoid any distractions or intrusive noises – sometimes these aspects are under my control and sometimes they’re not.

Some clients can feel a degree of shame about needing psychological and emotional help, and it’s important that their privacy upon arriving and leaving is respected – I’ve never had a ‘waiting room’ arrangement for that reason. (I feel passionate about removing such stigma from therapeutic help and my 12 modules of ‘The Ripple Effect’ Process aim to do that too.) [Read more…]

Our First Contact – ‘whole-brain and holistic’ reflections

So, we’ve had an e-mail exchange – and sometimes this is enough to point someone in the right direction of alternative services, when I believe these to be more appropriate to their needs.

If we are to take things further we now need to speak and arrange to meet up. I always prefer to speak directly with the person themselves and not to a friend or relative – however well-meaning they are. Their own voice gives me many more clues, and perhaps questions, about them. [Read more…]